In The Good Ole Summertime!

“Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone.”

--Anonymous

As we approach midsummer, and it is officially HOT outside, it reminds me of all the seemingly long summer days I spent with my girls at Cape Cod. We were fortunate enough to have the privilege of using a family summer home during the entire month of July. I know it sounds wonderful, and it was. I also know that it seems like there would have been millions of things to do, and there were, however many of the "exciting" things to do were very expensive. Since we were usually vacationing on a very tight budget, it became necessary for me to seek out interesting and inexpensive (and in this case I mean free) things to do with my girls each day.

If you are a parent facing the "Mom! I'm bored!" complaints from your children, then perhaps I may help you to discover new, interesting, and low cost ways to enjoy the summer months with your child. The first thing I took advantage of was using the local, free access beach that was located at the end of our road. My girls had countless hours of fun looking for hermit crabs, fish, shells, and even rocks of various colors. We built sand castles, (lost car keys in sand castles, but that is another story for another time), we talked about the current, and how to swim differently in a river or ocean than one would in a pool or a pond.. Walking along the shoreline led to many discussions about the variety of wildlife, and why different creatures lived in different environments. I bought books for the girls that helped them to identify the tiny animals, shells, and plants that we found living at the shore. This made the experience more interesting, and they were learning many new things at the same time.

Natural History museums are also a very inexpensive way to entertain young children on summer days. I will never, nor will my girls, forget the day that I took them to the Brewster Natural History Museum on Rt. 6 A, one scorching HOT summer day. When we arrived I noticed that there was a guided tour of the cranberry bogs at 10:00 a. m.  I thought that this would be an interesting and fun thing to do, and it might have been had it not been sooooo brutally hot that day. After the very enthusiastic guide had us follow him all over the edge of the bogs, he suggested we walk out along a ridge across the bogs. My girls had already been whispering complaints to me about how hot and tired they were, but I was determined to press on. Being the good sports that my girls have learned to be, probably because I usually leave them no other choice, they pressed on. After about another 10 minutes of wandering around the bogs and listening to what had to be very boring for two small girls, the guide suggested that we turn around. I could hear them both whispering,"Thank God", to one another. We browsed around the gift shop for a bit before departing, and I thought that the day had been a great one. It wasn't until this past year, when my two daughters and I returned to the Cape (this time in winter) to finalize my oldest daughters wedding plans, and we were reminiscing about the days that we had spent on Cape Cod, when one of them brought up the cranberry bog incident. The both let me know that they thought I had lost my mind that day, but didn't want to ruin the fun so they went along with the idea. I have learned two things from this incident, first of all most children have fun at most things if they aren't having to endure some unpleasant condition; in this case extreme heat, and secondly I discovered how both of my girls had developed tolerance at such a young age.

Not every outing has to be at a beach, or museum. We spent many hours biking, hiking, going to the library to choose our favorite books, getting ice cream at the dairy farm, swimming, and doing fun things together that not only filled our day with pleasurable activities, but built memories to last a life time!

Start planing your next summer outing with your children today, and you will have many good times as a family.

So, How Was Your Day?

If you are a parent of a middle school child then you know exactly how difficult it is to get them to "spill their guts" about their day. When my girls would come home from school I would ask them how their day was, and they would routinely reply, "OK". I soon realized that if I wanted to ever know anything at all about what was going on in their lives I would have to change my approach. Rather than firing questions at them about how their day went, or questioning them about what they learned that day, I would open with some type of dialogue about what I had done that day, or how something I experienced may or may not have been fun or interesting. It didn't take long for them to open up about what happened during their day, as well. To start a conversation with them I may have commented on how an experience that I had at work helped me to find a better way to interact with a particular person. I would also tell them about something I did that day that was enjoyable, or perhaps very interesting to me. Before long, I would find them opening up about what happened during the course of their day, also. In addition, I have found that my girls would be more apt to engage in discussions with me if we were involved in a mutually enjoyable activity together. Talking while we were cooking, driving to the mall, or taking a walk provided us with a less interrogative atmosphere which led to more enjoyable conversations. I would also use the story line of a television show that we were watching together to prompt discussion. These shows gave me the opportunity to discuss proper ways to handle situations, and would often lead to a discussion about some problem that my girls may be facing, and proper ways to deal with these situations. I hope these suggestions help to pave a way for quality time and involvement in your child's most impressionable years of their lives.

The Cat's in the Cradle!

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then. -- Harry Chapin

Such a powerful message! Many times, during parent - teacher conferences, parents ask me how they can have a positive influence in their child's life. My answer is pretty much the same each time... Its all about giving. I don't mean giving them gifts, or spending exhorbitant amounts of money purchasing them the latest, greatest __________ (you fill in the blank).  It's about giving them your time. Spending time with your child, doing something that both of you can enjoy together, will create a trusting relationship that will encourage your child to come to you for guidance when it matters most.

When my girls were little my husband and I didn't have a lot of money to spend buying them expensive toys or gifts. Family vactions were often on a budget, and going out to dinner in a restaurant was a rare treat. But, we did spend valuable time with them each day. One of the fondest memories that I have from my girls' childhood days was how we often sat together and read a book. Black Beauty came alive as we took turns reading and discussing the story together. In addition to reading together, we took long walks, and as they grew older, the walks turned into bike rides. We spent time painting, drawing, sewing, cooking, baking, and doing many very inexpensive activities together. While we were participating in these activities, we had the chance to share stories, discuss options regarding choices they had to make, or in some cases, how they may have made better choices. The times we spent together built a firm foundation of trust between us, and it didn't really cost me anything. I hate to think of the price I would have had to pay had I not invested my time and energy by involving myself in their daily lives. I hope that this gives you some good ideas on how to carve out some very valuable time to spend with your children each day.

Happy Parenting!!!

Parenting Should Be A Pleasure

Anne Frank once said that "Parents can only give good advice or put them (children) on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."

As a parent of two grown girls, I can assure you that under most circumstances, parents can have a huge impact on the growth and development of their children. And yes, you can put them on the right path, and keep guiding them back to the right path each time they stray. Sometimes though, regardless of your diligent efforts to keep them on the straight and narrow, they still stray. Obviously, it is easier to redirect small children than it is to redirect teens, or young adults. The trick lies in learning how to respond to your child in a fashion that is "age appropriate" for your individual child. This is often more easily said than done, especially when you are so entrenched in the situation. So, with all of that said, hopefully I can offer some neutral, situation specific, and realistic suggestions for you to put into practice with your child. I welcome your questions and thoughts.
Happy Parenting!