So, How Was Your Day?

If you are a parent of a middle school child then you know exactly how difficult it is to get them to "spill their guts" about their day. When my girls would come home from school I would ask them how their day was, and they would routinely reply, "OK". I soon realized that if I wanted to ever know anything at all about what was going on in their lives I would have to change my approach. Rather than firing questions at them about how their day went, or questioning them about what they learned that day, I would open with some type of dialogue about what I had done that day, or how something I experienced may or may not have been fun or interesting. It didn't take long for them to open up about what happened during their day, as well. To start a conversation with them I may have commented on how an experience that I had at work helped me to find a better way to interact with a particular person. I would also tell them about something I did that day that was enjoyable, or perhaps very interesting to me. Before long, I would find them opening up about what happened during the course of their day, also. In addition, I have found that my girls would be more apt to engage in discussions with me if we were involved in a mutually enjoyable activity together. Talking while we were cooking, driving to the mall, or taking a walk provided us with a less interrogative atmosphere which led to more enjoyable conversations. I would also use the story line of a television show that we were watching together to prompt discussion. These shows gave me the opportunity to discuss proper ways to handle situations, and would often lead to a discussion about some problem that my girls may be facing, and proper ways to deal with these situations. I hope these suggestions help to pave a way for quality time and involvement in your child's most impressionable years of their lives.